Sri. Shailesh Srivastava – Samarpan March, 2015

Here is the video and transcript of the Samarpan talk given by Sri. Shailesh Srivastava at Brindavan in the month of March, 2015.

Sai Ram. My loving salutations at the lotus feet of our beloved Lord Sai. Respected elders, sisters and brothers of the Sai family and dear students. Today, we have the 47th edition of the Samarpan and it’s an offering of gratitude by the alumni of Sri Sathya Sai educational institutions and we are really fortunate to have Dr. Sailesh Srivatsava with us today. He is well known among the alumni, amon the devotees as a composer par excellence and whether it is carols or whether it is stotrams whether it is kawali’s, he is completely at ease with each and every one of them and I have seen him play each of these instruments whether it is harmonium or a key board  with a unique style  it has to be played with. And Dr. Sailesh Srivatsava joined in the year 1982 in PUC in Brindavan. Then he went on to do his B.Sc in Physics, M.Sc in Pyhsics and he has completed his Ph.d in Physics. And currently he is working as a faculty in Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, Prashanthi Nilayam campus in the department of Pyhsics. And I have been witness to many of his compositions, having dry runs in Bhagawan’s presence in the interview room where Bhagawan would lovingly tell him to change this way and that way and he would immediately change it and I have stayed with him in the old hostel in the year 90’s. I have also been with him in the same Kodai trip in 1994 and one thing I know, behind Sailesh’s silence there is a lot of thought work happening because I keep seeing him, even while sitting for darshan he will keep counting because he will all the time up to some composition, a unique composition for each and every occasion and he is somebody who is so unique in his composition, I have watched him from the time when I was a student when we sang ‘Aao sab milkar gaye’ till the recent kawali’s  that he is been composing one after the other. So, over to brother Dr. Sailesh Srivatsava.

 

Om Sai Eshwaraya Vidmahe, Satya Devaya Dhimahi, Tanna Sarva Prachodayat.

 

Offering my loving salutations at Bhagawan’s divine lotus feet. Dear sisters and brothers, elders. Mr. Vijay Sai has very generously said that wherever I am sitting, I am always busy in counting; actually composition is not my disposition. To be exact and to put it in another way, I was very lucky that when I joined the Brindavan hostel 33 years ago, in my 11th class which is also called the first PUC in Karnataka, I learnt in the very first few years of my stay here that what is important with Swami is not music, but it is a different type of music which is there in everybody and a different kind of tune which resonates in every heart and if you give first priority to that, you go nearer and dearer to him and when I look back I know it is a big surprise that actually I never gave priority to music or composition, I will say Swami forced me to do them in a manner which he alone can do. I came here from Delhi and I was in no mind to come here and it was also the hand of my Guruji about whom also I have written his holiness Swami Krishna Das of Brindavan to whom I am also ever grateful for having pushed me, nudged me, thrown me into the presence of God. So, let’s see how we will begin, because God alone knows the directions. I remember right here in this Brindavan, a student few years senior to me, I think this will be a good way to start, not my experience but when I was sitting here five minutes back, this experience suddenly struck me. This boy’s father was as he described it, many of us know about the story but few sentences before we begin to this story, he describes his father as an Agnihotri. You know who is an Agnihotri? Just now a yagna has completed here, a massive thrilling yagnam. He describes his father as Agnihotri telling that he would smoke only 100 cigarettes a day and his problem was that his father would never give up smoking and therefore he goes to Swami and tells, Swami, please do something to my father, please stop this habit and Swami very casually remarked something after which when he called his father, Swami called his father,  his father was a devotee mind you, I mean by devotee we mean within “”(inverted comma) all of us call ourselves devotees, students etc.. the definitions of which are not easy to understand. So, he was called and Swami told him directly, look here ‘if you don’t give up smoking, Swami threatened him verbally, I will stop talking to you. He was a devotee. He had love for Swami. That’s one thing which we have, something which can save you. He had it. And Swami says I will not talk to you, point no.2 I will not look at you, and point no.3 is where I wanted to begin, Swami said if you don’t give up this bad dirty habit I will see to it, I will see to it that you will not be able to think of me. Amazing, amazing…if we have the capacity to sit and listen to his glory, if we have the ability to think of him please be aware that he has willed it or rather that he has allowed it. For without his permission we cannot think of him. How many thousands and millions of people are there right out there on the other side of this wall, unmindful , ever engaged in daily activities not having a moment to be able to think of him, possibly because of some or the other pressing engagement which they feel is not giving them time. Behind the scenes his hand of the will of God which reacts to your own actions, which reacts to your own doings, here was Swami who revealed it in the case of a small devotee that yes, if you continue on these bad ways, I will not even allow you to think of me. Just imagine, that’s what it means. Let’s be convinced that everyone who comes here, everyone who is able to sit peacefully and think of him, those who have time to spare, yes they are really fortunate. Brindavan as usual is very fortunate, Brindavan students are fortunate. Every other day, every month in so many different ways they get opportunities to think of him. Surely, that must be his will, or else how is it possible? When we think that when we look at the world and we come inside into a new setting an environment which seems to be very different from outside it sets us thinking, it is really real or are we experiencing the same world in which millions and billions are living. Is he the director of this grand play? And in what way? Is his hand really behind so many things which are going on in this world in this universe, yes we will need to think about it to be able to come to some conclusion. But let me tell you from whatever little experience I have had, I don’t have any big experience and I know I am in a place when possibly Udhava went to Brindavan and wanted to convey something to the  gopikas he was humbled and neither a Udhava and yet this is Brindavan. And therefore I have to think twice before I utter anything assembled are here are not just Swami’s students, teachers, people who have taught me from whom I have learnt so much and the very place which changed the course of my life. I was not wanting to join or come or leave Delhi and it was that after I finished my post graduation and then people asked me whether you would be like to ..why don’t you do IAS or this one or that one? People thought that I can do such things and the desire had left. So, Brindavan is not just some place. Lots of things can happen to you if you allow them to happen and nothing may happen to you if you just sit. So, every time we assemble, every time we have the opportunity to think of him, let us first deeply understand that these opportunities come not every day and that we have to make the best use of it.  The presence in which we are sitting is the omni presence. It is not Brindavan presence or Prashanthi Nilayam presence. It is the presence which is felt by Yogis right on the peaks of the Himalayas, a presence which is felt across the oceans far away in Alaska or far away in the Fizi islands, in Japan everywhere without physically that presence having moved to all these places. Yet, he is there directing the control, the manager. When we were in Kodai kanal, very small statements and Swami can give you a glimpse of who he is. And very often we miss these glimpses because often I don’t have the habit of going back and thinking about it. I just leave it. I hear and I enjoy one peak one delta function and then it goes back. So we are having lunch, Swami was there. We had the opportunity the fortune of having all the four sessions of food with Swami breakfast, lunch, high tea, dinner. Of course, only we were having. Swamis food, that is another big surprise yes the one month that we stayed there, we were there, we know where Swami is, what he eats, the entire one month Swami’s eating time was our Bramharpanam time. That’s how every session every session he will tell us to start  Bramharpanam, by the time we finish Bramharpanam he finishes his whatever he wants to eat and then he is up moving around, looking at what we are having giving us something here something there. So one day when we were sitting there, suddenly telegram comes the telegram Swami opens the telegram in our presence and reads it, he saw like that, he started reading the moment it came he started reading it aloud..’Raj Matha serious, come immediately’, ‘Raj Matha serious, come immediately’..ok..those are the first few words of the telegram. Look at that, human reaction and divine reaction, just small small glimpses. If I were to get such a telegram Raj matha was the one who really loved me so dearly, what would I do? I would have told. Ok put it jusr find out what’s happening or enquire or ring up or let’ see or maybe we have to go back to Bangalore fast. If not anything you know I don’t want her to leave her mortal coils after I read this telegram and I don’t do anything about it. so at least for that sake I will react and say ..let’s hurry up. Swami read it casually, he just opened it he said Raj matha serious immediately and reaction, no crying, he just smiled  and tore the telegram. He said ‘nahi jata’ and he smiled and said passport nahi diya abhi, ah! My God, it’s not something, don’t take this word just like that, somebody is sending a telegram, I am on my death bed, please come immediately and there somebody tears the telegram and says how can you go? I have not given you the passport. What does that mean? It means that he issues all those passports. It’s not that specially that Raj mathas passport was there in his hands, every passport is there in his hand and therefore it’s a very interesting thing to think about because we are dealing with the supreme divine almighty Lord. And yet that almighty lord that he is, he totally comes down to a level that such we start doing research to find out whether he is almighty. Just imagine, if I had a little power in my hand, a little a just little may be little enough to make this fellow stand up whenever I want, I would have just made him keep standing up, sitting down just to at least make people who see that much and here is somebody who has the control, the main switch of everything right there. But exactly because he has the main switch in his hands he is never worried about anything. He is never in a hurry for anything because everything finally goes through an Ok a Not, not easy to digest this in a  normal sense, but let’s go deeper into Swami’s life and I will just, I am somewhat excited to tell you I will not narrate this experience because if I narrate this experience alone might take one and half hours, not my experience and that’s why I would not like to narrate it, but yet the excitement level is such that I can’t but spill over the beans as they say at least a few sentences because I heard it only few days ago. See ee are living in such a place in such a world that even after 33 years of staying and listening to experiences and experiences and experiences of Swami, we still come across things which make us sit upright and they say hey! I want to listen to that till the very end and that was something that somebody narrated in our moral class on last to last Thursday, somebody from Kerala who has also spoken on many occasions, he will himself narrate experience but for the first time he has possibly spoken it in public, and just to cut it short, he said that after having come to Swami at the age of in 1953 1960’s he became an atheist and then finally joined the communist party and then finally became anti God, anti Swami, anti everything and then their only aim was to eliminate all the spiritual heads in this country and they had decided you know Krishna’s life how was it? The entire childhood was only filled with, if you hear those stories first day this daemon came next day that daemon came, next day this daemon came, it was only full of how he managed various devils and various demons and this man releases this story possibly to the world and he you better listen to it from him and he says that 27 of them young people decide to finish 27 religious heads of the country and they drew lots and in his lot was, lots for what..whom should I finish, each one had to finish one because their aim was very pure. They were convinced that the religious heads are spoiling this country and we must do something to save this country. So, best is eliminate all the religious heads. So in his lot, came up Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. And then rest of the one hour we were all sitting upright as he was describing details of how, when, where, why he was going to do with a dagger, a dagger hidden inside a mouth organ sitting as a devotee, press the button the dagger comes out of the mouth organ and an amazing story, he comes to Parthi he does all kinds of things, just to cut the story short, at the end of it, yeah, he did everything possible, he jumped onto, because he thought Swami is a magician, he consulted PC Sir car, he consulted everybody just to tackle Sathya Sai Baba and then he came to Parthi and he had the opportunity and at night he jumped onto Swami’s terrace went into Swami’s room, went this side that side, of course he didn’t find Swami there, though Swami had slept off there only and then next day Swami calls him for an interview and so many things happen, he doesn’t want to go for an interview and then in the interview amazing things happened and then Swami asked him also ‘Do you believe in God? Very nicely Swami was talking most lovingly, he got so irritated so he said ‘I don’t believe in God, there is no God in this world’. Swami was silent Swami was smiling and looking at him and then after a few seconds of silence, Swami says ‘100% correct’. When Swami told that this man could not stand it any longer, 100% correct and he is cheating everybody, in that case you are the biggest cheat, you are the one who is telling people that there is God and this that that..so many things. Swami was kind and then hey hey come on come on cool down, why are you getting so hot and I fast forward the story, Swami just talked to him some interesting things, left him, he had already planned in his dairy he had written the time 10:30PM 18th August 1967  with a dagger in Prashanthi Nilayam. It’s interesting, but finally on that day because they won’ t do it before that when the plan is made, on that day he sleeps inside the Prashanthi Nilayam and Swami is sleeping right there next to him on a cot on that day. Every day Swami doesn’t sleep there down that day Swami sleeps there and then everybody sleeps off, this fellow is a young boy hotty, knotty his parents were devotees. And he said I was related to Sri Kasturi, just amazing insights at 10’o clock, the bell rings, ten times Swami was sleeping this boy was just there his mouth organ was behind him, at 10’o clock when that happens suddenly Swami got up and sat down. And he looked at him and this boy didn’t know what to do, so the time is not yet there, he has fixed the time, Swami asked him hey! What’s the time? He said 10’o clock. Oh! 10, then Swami slept back. At 10:30 the bell rings for once , Swami got up, sat down looks straight into this boys eyes, he didn’t know what to do, because he didn’t expect Swami will get up just then and  mouth organ is not with him, Swami looks at him, stares at him and does like this(with folded hands), when he did like this in Swamis hand his mouth organ appeared and he said it was my mouth organ and I could recognize it because I got it made, it is mine and then Swami looked at it and told him, see kill me, please kill me, please kill me, it was silence like this. The boy says the man he is now more than 65, he says all my energy started going out. Till then in spite of whatever had happened in the past few days I am not narrating those fantastic things but in spite of all those things I was dead sure of doing that job. And then what did Swami say, Swami said see when you make up your mind and give a promise, it’s not good, you must keep it up. Please kill me, please then Swami said you wrote it in your dairy know, in your dairy 10:30PM, please see here, put it on my heart, Swami said,  put it on my heart, press this button that button also he showed. And as Swami kept requesting him to do that, he says all my energy went off and finally that harmonium mouth organ dagger fell down from Swamis hands, this boys by then his hands were on Swamis lap they were cold and when the dagger falls down, it hit this boys toe and his toe started bleeding and then Swami tore his robe and put a bandage on his toe. He said 18th August 1967, I had decided to kill him, and he finished me.  Not only that he revealed something also amazing that after that he became, he started doing door duty as they say for sometime in the 1960’s and he says Swami told him not to go back. His parents had also come, Swami told him, you don’t go back and what was the effect of him not going back. He says 26 people were killed by the police because there were all involved in all kinds of things. One out of them got saved for whatever reason, God knows the reasons ok. Who got saved? The one in whose lot came that he needs to do something to Sathya Sai. Sathya Sai has decided to do something to him. We don’t know when Swami decides forget it. If anybody in the world is just an atheist, it is only one level. Here was a story of not an atheist but of someone who had crossed the boundaries and experimented on the other extreme and he says that throughout all this experience Swami talked to him with so much love and Swami also told him you know, he is a very good boy. Why? Because your intention was very nice, only thing it was in the wrong direction. You want to do service to your nation. Just imagine, service to the nation is such a thing, it can get right to the feet of the God. You wanted to serve your nation, you had a real intention of service and that is why you were saved. Let’s not talk about the rest, yes the rest who knows what their background was? Krishna knows who has to be saved, which daemon had to be transformed, which daemon had to be finished. But that’s the story. Let’s come back to our down to earth Swami.

 

Swami has shown every facet of Godhood.  You name it, we can give you experiences. If there ever lived a God on earth, yes we know of Jesus, we know of Krishna, we know of Rama, we know of Lord Shiva, we know of so many Gods, but let me tell you brothers, I myself was like an atheist before I joined here not of this level. But, if today I am able to think of Lord Krishna, Lord Rama, Lord Shiva, it is because I had seen Lord Sai. And I have seen that those things can happen. All that is described in the Bhagavatham can happen. All that is described in the Ramayana could have happened. Otherwise the luck appears like fantastic fables and stories. When I really dig and ask people squarely on their face, you are so nicely talking about Ramayana, Mahabharatha, do you believe that this happened? Then the person slightly trembles and says I think so and may be or may not be because the world that we live in seems to be so different and here was a living form who showed us brother everything is possible. If with one mantra the arrow could come out, if with one mantra agni could come out, if the debt could be revived, everything of that has happened in Swami’s life, and yet just like Lord Krishna here he has shown every facet of Godhood. So, I keep repeating this particular interesting statement, I would like you to dilate upon it and think about it as you sit sometime that there is no disproof for God. There is no disproof for God. You want, argue with me, challenge me, you will not be able to disprove that also, I am a physicist so little bit more of logic is ingrained into us. You will not be able to disprove to me that I am God. Sailesh Srivatsava is God, I can claim and you will not be able to disprove because anything that you say I can finally say that look here, yes, you are saying that you need to be having this power, fine I have this power. I am not interested in proving it to you. Why? Because I am God, I know what to do and where to do, with whom to do, when to do, why to do, how to do, because I am God, you are saying you are not God and therefore naturally I know how to deal.  So, what is the other way round? The other way around is there is no disproof for God, but ok then, anyway Swami has anyway told all of us are God. So, the other side is there is a proof for God. So think about this. We leave you with this sentence, there is no disproof for God, but there are proofs. So, if you suddenly tell me yes Mr. Sailesh you say that there is no disproof for God, ok you may be God. But, can you give me some proof? Having shown it somewhere, then I will have to keep silent. I will have to keep repeating that, I never wanted to go and show my powers and I have never shown it anywhere. If I can show my powers, somewhere to someone some place, all powers at some time or the other I have them. Why should I show them everywhere and anywhere? Because that requires deservedness.  If you are doing wrong, I will see to it that you cannot even think of me. Become an atheist, become an atheist. It’s your good fortune to believe in God, because belief in God saves us. So, let me talk of different facets of this beautiful God with whom we have lived. Swami has been a fantastic human being, a fantastic parent, a fantastic teacher and fantastic is not the right word, words will fail if I have to really describe. But every aspect of God has been demonstrated by Swami. Let me start with something may be humor ok, because that something which you may not attribute it to God, but God is Navarasa priya, all rasas and he shows everything. So, right here, we were called for an interview, me and two other brothers, we were getting lot of chances those days and we went inside the interview room, you know just above the interview room is Swami’s room and we were there down and Swami called us, so we went and as we went in, Swami was not there he was in the round hall, so we thought, so we went to the curtain which separates this interview room from the round hall and stood there. Swami just now called us, we stood there searching for where Swami was, we were looking there inside towards Swami’s room, and as we were standing there, suddenly, Bhow!!! Like that, that is what he came and did, Swami came from the back and did  Bhow like that. Ah!!  and all three of us just got shocked and Swami laughed and laughed. He enjoyed and of course he talked interesting things but humor is also made by God, seriousness is also made by God. He knows when to use which weapon. In Kodai Kanal see the keen sense of observation of Swami, the keen sense of humor also added to the observation. When we sit in Kodai Kanal, you know, everybody is waiting for a chance to sit next to Swami and after every food session, we would get an opportunity to sit right next to Swami and then Swami will talk, he may tell so many interesting things. So, everybody has to finish food as fast as possible, the first come first serve, not the food, when you finish food first you get his lotus feet first, so, if you can finish food early, you go and sit off there. So, the problem was that you know young students 21,22,23 and when good food is being given every day you would like to eat nicely and you don’t want to miss that chance also and you want to eat also and then you don’t want to show that you want to eat, how to manage all these things together? So, Swami is crossing some boy and you know people have to serve some boys only will be serving and if I take more, it will be very obvious that I am wanting to eat more and so Swami catches this observation, we never noticed it. Swami was passing, somebody served and Swami says, Ah! our boys have got a fantastic grit knack undi ra boys daggara, what knack? He said these fellows know, when they are wanting more food and Swami standing there, what they do you know, when this person comes to serve they start looking that side, so he keeps serving because instruction is please serve till you are told enough. So the boys looked that side and suddenly they turn and say woah!! So much, now how? Swami has told don’t waste and then anyway, Swami says chala knack undi boyslo..So this is God who just catches small small things. Small small things which we will not think of those things catch his attention that was humor of course there are so many interesting things which happen when we are right next to Swami. So, we can go on and on.  But I would like to I thought I will just tell bits here and there about different aspects. The human the Divine yes we know it, the human absolutely human. When he is human, he is absolutely human. Of course, understand what a human is. Human is not an animal. We mistake very often the animal for the human, Swami says first become human, then divine. So, he shows humility, presence of mind, innocence, all of these are various types and there are so many different ways. Never uneasy, never embarrassed always at ease. In one of the interviews we was sitting and one boy had to sing something in the drama and then Swami asked myself and somebody else one more person was there, Swami asked us, who is going to sing this? So, we said Swami, we just told the name. We told some name Ashwin lets say..so as I say that Swami looked at, there were two Ashwins sitting in the interview room, so Swami looked at the other Ashwin and said Oh! You also started singing like that. So, when Swami was looking like that oh you also started singing, the person who was next to me and other senior person myself we were just looking at Swami, so we didn’t know how to react, our finger from back we just showed like this, Swami not this Ashwin not that Ashwin and we just showed in such a way that nobody can see, from back we just told Swami. You know what he did, he told I thought this Ashwin. He replied like that oh I thought this Ashwin. Just see that these are glimpses of Divinity brothers. These are not glimpses of humanity of today, real human beings yes they have that qualities. They are absolutely at ease, they are humble. Because he is not wanting to show me any of his you know the spiritual power there why? Why doesn’t he show spiritual power all the time? Because then me the small cannot interact with him the big, the difference becomes so much that I feel unearthly, so he becomes a earthly, so he sits right in front like a normal human being and interacts. They have been times where he will tell see you, have you composed this tune? Have you finished this tune? And it took me so much of time to understand that Swami is not going to simply give me the thing as a laddu or a prasadam and say here comes the composition, here comes this. He is giving me an opportunity to sit with him, he is giving an opportunity to be with him. Because I prayed for it in whatever way, I should not say because, there is no because with him, he knows the because. So he will say take that tune and I will say Swami please you give the tune and Swami says hey I didn’t learn music, I am not music director and I will be thinking see I was also not a music director, you simply started calling me as a music director and now you are not giving these things. So, such things often happen but here and there within the that he gives glimpses of divinity, at another time he suddenly sent word where is that music director? he said, I don’t know whether I should go or I should not go. I am supposed to think I am a music director, but then somebody came and called me because something from drama work was there Swami was calling those times, so I thought maybe he is referring to me. So, where is that music director? So, I went out into the portico, he said director vacharu, director has come. So, I looked at Swami and said what should I say, I said Swami I am not the director, you are the director. No, no he said, I am not director, human, perfect human small glimpse of divinity added as a tag, he kept silent and then he again looked at me and told I am director for devotees, I am director for devotees. Students you …ah suddenly his definition of student there was different; it was not the students who are my only property. At that time, he changes frame of reference, he was referring to a different aspect because actually there was no difference between students and devotees because students are supposed to be devotees and all who are really true devotees are supposed to be his students. But we differentiate we remember some times, we forget sometimes so this is the human aspect ah let me tell you here and there tidbits sometimes they can be useful. One he called me for an interview and this was I was sitting outside and Swami suddenly calls and it was a famous western singer, Swami had called her for an interview personal interview inside and the moment Swami goes and sits inside I was in the outer interview room, Swami said Sailesh, so I was surprised because he was not referring with that name often. He called me inside and I was used to that if you go, when Swami was sitting directly go and sit off at Swamis feet. This time this lady was sitting at Swamis feet and unmindful as we humans are as Swami said Sailesh I just went in running and then I was just going to take my place there and can you beat it? See Swami is so beautiful he just with his eyes he looked at me like that where are you sitting? You know two feet away I sat. We have to remember at all the moments the code of conduct that Swami has kept in his organization, in his dealings even when I was right in front of God he is wanting me to remember that lady is sitting there, how dare you suddenly come and sit off right there. So, just with his eyes and that’s it. I could sit behind. And then he says, come on he used to make me carry one small keyboard to the interview room and I would take it as not like that mouth organ ok, but I would also kind of hide it and always keep it with me, because you see I am not a singer nor I am a born musician and he has started making me so do such things. So I always needed this support, I would keep it with me to the extent that I used to during the drama period, I always used to catch it under my armpit and keep moving anywhere because anytime he may call me, I have to show him some song and he started referring to it as monkey puppy, by monkey puppy he meant monkey’s will always roam around with their children clinging on them. So I am always clinging onto this small keyboard and he finally used to say where is that monkey puppy? Did you get?  That’s another aspect. He would add humor to everything. Lets come out of this aspect, it’s not always humor not always human but there are times he gives you glimpses, glimpses of divinity. In the middle I am reminded of one more incident connecting to the same drama. How he would because Vijay Sai Sir has specially requested that I must keep a harmonium and tell something about the songs and the drama and ok there are things to share. One of the dramas Swami was asking us to compose a song on Vivekananda and thank God, I was not getting any tune and he started calling us for interview and daily he would ask and then because daily you have to show him some tune, you can’t show the tune daily. You can’t compose also daily. So, you show one paragraph today, one paragraph next day one more paragraph and continue with one song in so many ways and he is actually where people are thinking that amazing things are going on. He is actually giving us chances. Please be sure that every chance that a human being got with Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba was because the human being needed it. Sathya Sai Baba didn’t need it. He did not need to call us, he did not need to talk to us, he did not need to look at us, but the fact is as he says, if you look at me I will look at you. The fact is also that if you don’t look at me, I still look at you. But unfortunately you then don’t know that I look at you. See if you want to know that I look at you when you look at me please look at me, as simple as that. So, many people they don’t look at God and then they don’t know that God is always looking at them. It’s not that when you look at me I look at you. He is always looking at you when you look at me you feel me. He told to make this Vivekananda song and we were showing so many songs each day one song and then Swami will listen, see he also knows he wants to give chance, God knows how many births I would have prayed for that. So, this fellow should sit and sing and finally I will say that this is not good ok. But I will hear the whole song. So he will hear the whole song patiently, nicely then say not good, not this, do this, do that, change this and I remember what happened was then one day Swami said wait I will give you, so I will switch over to the other mike. So Swami in one of the interviews, Swami said I am going to give you the tune, so Swami started. Swami is so human, so sweet, so beautiful, he said ‘mat ja, mat ja, mat ja’ then he said you got it? Then I was just staring at Swami what to tell then he said ‘mat ja, mat ja, mat ja’  rest you make it Swami told. This is too much back to square one. So, then I thought he has given me a hint when Swami gives a hint, you must catch it so‘mat ja’ is the clue. So I went and searched around ‘mat ja ‘mat ja mat ja’’ there must be songs and I found one song beautiful song. Some lady singer I don’t want to name the lady but there was a singer and professionally recorded song. Now I got it off next day only and then now that song was little difficult and I thought I cannot really sing it and show it exactly, so it will not be good. So, what to do? And that  day the winter vacation began and Swami had called all the students in the poorna Chandra to give clothes, so Swami is calling each one to the stage and giving clothes and all are going home for vacation and that morning Swami has called me for an interview and the previous evening and this song I have got it, so I was not knowing how to convey to Swami, when I went to take that cloth from Swami, as Swami was giving Swami just looked at me and told ‘what went on? What happened? He was also so anxious because he had told song Vivekananda song I will give, he was not giving and I was not making. I was not yet in tune with him. If you are in tune, you surrender, he helps you.So, I just looked at Swami and told Swami, I got off the song, I got off the song. Can I, Can I?  I was just telling to Swami.. get it in the evening Swami told. I said yes Swami and just went off. Nobody else noticed that Swami has told this. Evening what do I do? So I take a small walkman with the cassette of that song recorded placed exactly there and went. Swami called us for the interview and then I would get the opportunity of sitting at his right side, because that’s I will sit there and I can keep just lifting my face and singing into his ear and he doesn’t want everything to be sung very loudly also. People outside should not hear, it should be a good secret, people should be surprised on the final day when you sing. So, softly get an opportunity that was a great opportunity to sit right next to him. I sat there and then Swami looked at me as if what is it? have you got it? then I said yes Swami and then I put on switched on the walkman and put it right next to Swami’s ear. Actually Swami made a fantastic pun on it but I don’t want to make the pun because it includes the singer’s name. ‘Mat ja, mat ja mat ja’ it started like that when I just started Swami told ‘theee’ like that his over. The job was done. Who sang this? Swami told. I said xyz. Chaa xyx and finished he made fantastic pun on the singer and over back to square one. Don’t know what to do and then the deal has to be made. So, it was already into November and Swami had already called us for so many times giving us fantastic chances to experience him, because that’s what we can do with God. So, I didn’t know what to do so at that time then I sang off some other song, in the same drama there was a song for Kabir das. ‘ Chalti chakki dekh kar, diya kabhi ra roye gopatan ke bhi chine sabath bacha na koyi do din kachak’..I started this. Swami heard it very happy and actually he had heard it for ten times before that also. Can you beat it? Only God does this. Every time he hears it it’s like he is hearing it for the first time. The expression on his face is like that of a child with full innocence listening it for the first time, because he needs to give me chance there. He is again listening it as it is for the first time. He heard it very nice and he said yes, yes put this song for this one Vivekananda. Then we all looked at each other because this was Kabir song in the same drama, one song vanished one song came and one song vanished what to do now? Kabir we have to sing some other song. So, I had a dairy that had some other written songs, sang a few lines of another Kabir song and Swami listened to it and told no no because I was wanting that to be okayed for Kabir. He said no, no this is not nice. Then some other song for Kabir he okayed. The interview was ending. It was 10th, or 11th 12th of November I don’t know it was very late and Vivekananda song is not fixed. So, just when the interview was ending our Prashanthi Nilayam warden who was there that time and he thought this is the way to clinch the deal because once Swami says chalti chakkis Vivekananda let it be. What does it matter? What people think. So, just when the interview was ending Swami says see our warden sir said Swami so he chalti chakki a song Vivekananda he was trying to indicate to Swami that that song, can we have for Vivekananda? See how beautiful Swami is, he knows exactly what to do when, So Swami heard him Swami that chalti chakki song we will have for Vivekananda. Cha dunnapota, Swami told that is Kabir song Swami told, that is Kabir song. How you can have that for Vivekananda, buddhi leda? Back to square one. What to do? just then on the flute there used to be a flute player outside and he starts playing something, he played something on the flute and then Swami came near my ear then he told like that make something and that’s it. Because the interview was over the chances were over he had decided that now it should be made and when I went and sat in my room I used to generally lock myself every song used to be either some tears should come out or some food should be skipped or you should just lock yourself till something comes out and then the next day Swami was very happy because I knew that he has given that song. It went like ‘chalre man chalre man chalre man chalre man..chalre man apne dha chalre man apne dha..is jag me parades he bande.. is jag me parades he bande  bhatak raha kyu shubh aur shaam bhatak raha kyu ’ Swami was very happy and he said yes this is the song and from then onwards of course there was so many times that he made us sing this song. If you look back deeply at it you could have done it the first day but he wanted to give us an opportunity. He is giving opportunity to lift mankind to take time to lift you. It gives you an opportunity and experience joy. What if he had come first day just said Arise Awake and here you are all of you become self realized. He could have done it, he can do it. All that power is there. But what about the many promises he has given to many devotees and many a lifetimes. I want to experience you, I want to sit with you, I want to feel you. To fulfill all of those things got the God got the human, got the humorist, he also becomes got the below human, meaning it looks as if doing things which shouldn’t be done oh, he is delaying why give chance to somebody who has prayed for everything that Swami did throughout his avatar. There was a prayer of some devotee. I remembered of another song to tell that Swami is just not that he keeps taking you through it whether it is Indian, Western this way that way Swami when he wants he will give you otherwise you have to take the opportunity. We were singing ‘we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, and we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year. May Sai bless you wherever you are? May Sai bless you in a happy new year’? Now as we sang this Swami says hey first thing, Christians are coming don’t say may Sai bless you ok, So sing may God bless you wherever you are, yes we changed it and we were done with it and the song was accepted and we were going to sing it and then Swami says sing it again and then we sang, ‘we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year, May Sai, may God bless you wherever you are, May God bless you then Swami says wait, now there are two groups sitting there Swami said you sing ‘we wish you a merry Christmas’ and then you sing ‘may God bless you’. We never thought about it and telling you it became beautiful, I cannot sing in two voices to explain to you how it sounded but you can imagine when I am singing ‘we wish you a merry Christmas, God bless you wherever you are, so then fantastic it started sounding very nice more like a western carol, Swami said now it is good. So, he was always perfect in everything but he would show glimpses of those only once in a while. The first time that we showed Christmas carols to him was in the institute auditorium for the first time we were singing what we call harmony and counters various tunes together and Swami came to the auditorium and he was listening and we had three groups called the alto, base, tenor sitting with their ears closed because nobody wants to listen to the other persons tune. First time we are singing three different tunes together. We are all sitting like that and singing and we thought this is the ultimate. Swami will be so happy we have sung exactly like a western thing and the song was ‘war of friend we have in Jesus all our griefs and sins to bear, what a privilege to carry everything to God and pray, oh what speech we offer for feat oh what it was pain he bear, all because we do not carry, everything to God and pray. We sang the whole thing Swami heard the whole thing and we were just looking at Swamis face for a reaction, beautiful first time we have sung a western song and then Swami looks and says ‘anni okatiga undi’everything same only. Just the song where we thought that first time we sang everything different, is sounding same, you fellows don’t know how to sing western songs no. Different different things should be happening Swami told, somebody should sing then somebody should stop then somebody should sing, you should sing differently same words all of you are singing because we were singing what we called a perfect harmony. So, each somebody singing ‘what a friend we have in Jesus know that just a counter of that, overall it is sounding like that. So the first time we understood that we should sing differently when we sing in front of Swami. So, the first time that Vijay Sai brother reminded of ‘Ao sab milkar gaye’ when that song was first time made very often it would happen that Swami will tell something or he will give a hint now this song was first of the combined sports meet final song and just after he finished making it Swami very often would give in different ways a clue that yes you have done the right thing actually I guided it, I did it. so that morning when I finished it, Swami in his discourse he kind of almost repeated all those words which were there in this song in telugu he sang ‘kalasi melasi perugudam’ he started talking about it then he said ‘sahaana bhavatu’ and then about unity and oneness and this is something that has always been reverberating in my ears because I know that the day will come, how, when, yes, one needs to be more patient. When it said ‘Saare jahase Sai ke dhar pe dekho hajaro aaya, aao sab milkar gaye ektha ki kahani bin desh per ek praan, roop anek par ek naam Sai Ram Sai Ram’ the fact is that such times are coming but the fact is also that many of us don’t believe in it. By belief I mean we speak, I will shift over to the other mike please. We speak, we say, we profess but we are not having it in our blood. Swami has the entire universe in the palm of his hand.  Everything you can imagine he has done somewhere or the other. To give you another experience and lets recollect this fact that because Sir is sitting here I got reminded of this, in today’s modern world we talk about science and technology. As a physicist, let me tell you that science is absolutely not on the right footing, so limited just contemplate on one small aspect, again I ask you to think about it, because we just know these things, we hear of them but we do not think about them. How many of us have seen Vibhuthi appearing on Swami’s photos? Forget Swami’s hands. These photos are enough. Anything appearing. Do you know that as far as modern science is concerned, if you could produce one atom of vibhuthi from a photograph you will get more than a nobel prize, more than a nobel prize. Scientists who are sitting there will be knowing this and that is why sometimes yes the scientists falls off at his feet because he doesn’t need any other conviction, this oh! God can you do that? We have got around 1000 research institutions in the world that are doing research in cold fusion, hot fusion, plasma fusion, but you are creating confusion. Without any rhyme or reason you get vibhuthi out. I don’t know how it happens. Scientifically every element higher than even iron 56 was created they say only due to the energy released in a super nova explosion and a super nova explosion releases just the energy around a million suns and here we have somebody, does he release the energy of a million suns from his hand or from his photograph or is there another way? If I don’t believe in it just let me look at it, Sir is sitting right here his father comes 40 years ago to Brindavan rejected by doctors upon doctors with operations upon operations upon operations, just 25 operations and the doctor gives up. You have heard this experience, how many times. But it doesn’t change our lives. I don’t mean you all, I mean myself; you know the thick skin I am it takes so much time to transform, to understand that it must hit me. If I am a scientist it must hit me that here was somebody who has been rejected by doctor and the doctors said we give up, don’t trouble Thyagarajan let him go home and pass away in peace in his family. Please keep him for one month with you because this cancer we cannot do anything. We have done the best possible twenty five operations, don’t trouble him and he comes to Brindavan and a small barefooted brown man in a red robe comes there, comes to him casually and says Thyagarajan, why did you have 25 operations? The word was a surprise because Thyagarajan was coming to Sathya Sai Baba for the first time in his life, not told his problem to anybody and he is standing in front of divinity and this small man says, Thyagarajan he gives him vibhuthi and says don’t worry ‘Your cancer is cancelled’. Ah! we have heard this experience so many thousand times, how amazing hundred nobel prizes should be given for one such act if somebody could say look here, you are doing research in how many institutions and how many countries and if somebody says by statistical mean all research and cancer is done only statistically means if 100 patients were investigated with this medicine and if 30 survived 70 were killed it looks statistically feasible that they must be a connection and may be this medicine can cure cancer, it’s a good candidate and here is somebody defines science on the face of it, shame to science. He just says cancer cancelled, all the genetic mutations the cells reactions start reversing themselves tak..tak..tak..tak..back because for the cancer to be cancelled the cells should be multiplied they must I don’t know what name to give it to them. It must go reverse and it must form back the old substance then only cancer is cancelled otherwise a few have those cells in your body that’s it and here is somebody who said that cancer cancelled not to one person whenever he felt like saying he said it. Because he knew that when he says something it happens, it cannot not happen. So do we believe that a golden age is around the corner? You know that somebody said it. Who said it? the one who could cancel cancer whose word cancer cancelled which hundreds of research institutions hundreds of nobel prize winners failed to even do anything about. He could create nuclear reactor from his photograph which modern science cannot do.  Are we not having the courage to stand up and say this is non-scientific, we scientists don’t have the courage, because we feel if we say that this is really happening then something wrong in our science, or we simply push it aside by saying see somehow it happened, you know what a fantastic way of brushing aside by scientists who are so rational or the best way they do is don’t look at it. Don’t go there, don’t talk about it because it is non-scientific. Let it be happening, how many places vibhuthi is appearing, things are happening these things keep happening everywhere hundreds of homes hundreds of people being rescued day in and day out all over the globe Swami’s mahimas are going on, the other day when I had gone to I was telling you that I happened to go to Mathura Brindavan to my Guruji there was a young man who was a Sai devotee and who this is just last summer he comes and says he got interested and came to this place and when he comes there he tells me some fantastic experience. He says you know I am working in the army and in the army I got interested and through email I started corresponding to a lady in Brazil, as I started corresponding to the lady in Brazil one day after two to three months of correspondence some unknown lady, people nowadays you know young fellows they have all kinds of chatting schemes and this lady one day sends a email to him saying one ghost is troubling me, one ghost is troubling me and he is coming in my dreams and telling me do this, do that then she also gave some description, so this boy got interested. There was a Sai devotee so, he felt he understood who the ghost was so he sends one photograph of Swami to this lady in Brazil and sent with the thing that ‘Is this the ghost?’ and then she replies ‘Yes, this is the ghost’ how did you get this photograph, then he sent another mail and started telling something about who the Ghost was. And he described Sathya Sai Baba and she started getting interested and two months from then, this is all just last year around one and half years back. After another month she sends him a message Sathya Sai Baba came to me today in Brazil and then Sathya Sai Baba started coming to our house flesh and blood. It’s not a big deal you know, if you can do cancer cancelled, vibuthi appearing these are all small small things when you want you can be somewhere, so he appears there starts talking to her, do this, do that. After another 3-4 months this lady tells this young gentleman that I have, you know what Swami comes to her and tells see you and your husband you have to do some service, great service for man. Then Swami tells them of a place in Uganda, I don’t know the name of the place difficult to remember, place where the tribes still don’t even have clothes you go to that place and live there and serve this tribe, my blessings will be with you and I will help you and then after one more month she has shifted to Uganda and then she is telling how Swami is appearing and guiding. What I am trying to say is that this Sathya Sai Baba is not easy to understand because he appears wherever he wants. When he wants he does whatever he wants and be convinced that the earth shall be saved. The Sathya Sai avatar was not one avatar it was triplicate, Shirdi Sai, Parthi Sai and Prema Sai. Everything that he has told is going to happen if we believe we will be being part of being saved or possibly on the other side. Let me tell you a small dream which I heard from a boy, I thought of telling 50 experiences ok, I ended up with five that is Swami. Time is not enough whatever you want keep on speaking, you can go on and on his glory can never be described, hundreds of people in hundred different ways and still there is something new. This boy was a pilot in USA, going to become a pilot there, was doing a full course Swami appears in his dream and says leave it come and apply for MBA in my college and he leaves USA comes to this is what he told just a few days back and he is now doing MBA in Parthi and Swami interacts with him in so many ways, dreams or in other ways. So he after coming back from USA it is not that he got off the seat, he applied for MBA, he did not get. He again applied for MBA, he did not get, and he again applied for MBA and got it in the third attempt. He says that I just had a dream, why I am narrating this dream? Very interesting. Rudra homam was performed and Athi Rudra Maha Yagnam of an amazing variety was performed here for the benefit of mankind. Swami has been doing that, you do not know what scale Swami is operating, but just to tell you, this boy had a dream and then Swami sitting there in Prashanthi Nilayam, this boy goes to Swami and touches Swami’s feet then he looks up at Swami and says Swami, you still didn’t tell me who you are. Swami said before you want to know who I am this boy look, on the other side Lord Shiva is standing there flesh and blood full red eyes, hair and then Lord Shiva starts walking walking. He reaches where Swami is sitting, he bends and does namaskar and turns to this boy whose name is Adithya and Swami says Aditya, not only for you for me also he is God. Let me tell you what it means. I narrated this to somebody and the boy told Sir fine, what is this, Swami told that he is Lord Shiva and then what is this? Lord Shiva doing namaskar to Swami. I said see it is very simple. May be you are not scientific that’s why you are thinking Shirdi Baba was lord Shivas incarnation. Swami has told, Parthi Baba was Shiva and Shakthi and in a very simple mathematical way if Shiva is half and Shankthi is half then Shiva is 50, Shiva Shakthi is 100. So, what’s wrong in Shiva showing reverence to Siva Shakthi because he is showing reverence to his full to himself. But in the process he is giving you a glimpse, yes there have been avatars but this is a poorna avatar. To understand that it’s not going to be easy. My Guruji himself told me that beyond the divinity of Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh operates a divinity, the supreme principle which guides all God head, Sathya Sai Baba is that. We have an opportunity. So let’s end with this. Just let’s remind ourselves of how how fortunate we are? Yes these things keep happening. Yesterday we were having an interview viva for the M.Tech students and we had seven external experts from various companies Cisco, Tejas Networks, Bosch and the controller of examinations JNTU so many people. At the end of the viva they just get up and say that we have not seen this caliber of students. Two of these people are from IIT’s studied in IIT after finishing our own post graduate, our own students one of them happened to be somebody’s classmate also and they say both of them say that even in IIT we did not have such projects, we did not have such caliber which is available in Sri Sathya Sai University why? Why is it available? Because devotees offer themselves, they offer their lives for their services, the highest scientists, the highest caliber people will come and offer their services which is un thought of, un heard of outside. It is not possible, just with the name of Sai you walk into the world to anywhere with faith and go without faith and you will find that the name doesn’t give you anything, it gives you a jerk and you will say sir what is this?  I am taking Swami’s name and then they are telling this. And I will say simply beta, possibly you are not believing that the name is powerful if you show your belief, the name will show what it is. A boy goes to Atlanta working far away in USA and says Swami every day he used to take a pinch of Vibhuthi and put it on his lips and say he is working in, what to do Swami, my company nobody knows you just when this thought is coming this boy was never shy to take Swami’s name, he would put Vibhuthi on his left side and then lick it every two minutes while working on the computer. As he is thinking this there is a pat on his back and the pat he turns before he could turn the voice says ‘Is that vibuthi?’ wow this is amazing far away in Alaska, vibuthi the name had come to his rescue. When he turns, it was his boss’s boss, the ultimate boss of that company and he turns and says, yes sir, and the boss’s boss says ‘Sai Ram’ that’s what Sai Ram does. From then on, he became his boss’s gem, his importance grew. Why it is important to grow, give it a thought, because he gave importance to God, you gave importance to him, you look at him, and he looks at you. He knows how to do it. So just let’s think about this. Lord Krishna was Lord Rama was, Lord Shiva was, we say that. We go to Thirupathi, we go to Mathura, we go to Brindavan, we go to Kashi, we go to so many places. Why do we go? We go there because somebody told us that God appeared there, this miracle took place that saint did something and this happened. In Brindavan it was Chaitanya Maha Prabhu who discovered and he said this was the place where Krishna did this, this was the place and we feel there. Prayers are answered, some place Lors Shankaracharya went and touched and this lingam was touched by Shankaracharya , this place was touched by Krishna, this place Durgas one part fell there, katyayini temple came up there just go and pray there. We all saw, we don’t have to ask people whether it really took place, whether this divinity was there, he who showed all powers of divinity, he sat here, he walked here, he walked exactly where you are sitting. How many places on this world can say and claim that they have that good fortune, yes for those who don’t believe yes, it makes more sense. But for those who know we are amongst those who know. So for us what is the importance of  a Brindavan or a Prashanthi Nilayam. Just imagine, if one stone blessed or touched by the Lord possibly somebody says so ok and that can happen for such power because it was touched by God, what about the body in which God lived for 85 years? And somebody says that body is kept here. You call it as Samadhi. What kind of power should be there? For those who don’t know, we don’t say, we don’t go out and claim but we are telling in house to our own people. That look here, we know what Swami was and if you don’t know sit for another parayanam, keep sitting, one day you will come to know. Because he will start giving you experiences, say Swami I have faith, I will believe and when you say that he will give you experience and that will avalanche. So yes Swami in flesh and blood had walked here and let me tell you my understanding of one more thing that all the avatars was Lord Rama, Krishna if somebody comes and tells you, somebody gave this argument to somebody. Ah! what is this? Sai Baba is not God, why all these problems in this world? Fortunately for us he was a devotee, so a simple question made his mouth shut. So we asked oh! is that so? So what about Lord Krishna? Was he God? He said of course. And Lord Rama was he God? Yes, Shiva God, yes, Jesus God, yes, Allah God, ok. What are they doing now? What are they doing now? Then he had to define his definition of God again, he thought God was and is not and if he is than what is he doing? Why problems in the world? Then he himself gave an answer because he was a devotee. See, people have to experience this, people have karmas, people have this that is why all these things, you know everybody cannot be blessed like that. So, Krishna knows what to do, Sai knew exactly what to do. So, what about people telling that yes, everything that he did, he knew what he did, proofs, I said there is no disproof for God. Forget it, you can’t disprove me also. But I can’t give you any proofs, you know, he gave proofs, he resurrected the date, he revived people from cancer, he picked up people, he did everything, he transformed hearts, and the final what he did which God only does transformed hearts, transformed hard hearts, transformed atheists who wanted to finish him. To people who became, who talk of his glory, glory all the time. So, let us remember that and let us remember that we are living in that presence, in that presence we are here in Brindavan. We have that opportunity. Let us make use of every minute that we spend in this sanctified presence, if we wait for a lifetime to go to one shrine, we are right on it sitting on it blasphemy, we are sitting on the stones on which he walked. Should we not be transformed?  Yes, if we want he will do it. The choice is the only thing that is in our hands in this fantastic life is a game, play it. He gives you a choice. Choose this side or that side. So, let us pray to Swami that he will give us the good fortune to remain devoted to his lotus feet forever and ever and the day that is the ultimate day the day when the saints shall remember. Let us not be left behind on that day. I will just end with reminding us of this thing in the form of few lines which all of us know. It says, ‘Oh when the saints, oh when the saints, oh when the saints go marching in, how I want to be that number, when the saints go marching in the and on that high and on that high hale luya how I want to be in that number,  when the saints go marching in’ Jai Sai Ram!!

 

 

 

 

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